DAAAAAAAAAAMN anon….sweet shades ;)
So here I am mere days before it’s time to go back to America. I sit in my favorite spot in Italy and my mind starts to wander. It wanders almost as many places as my feet have this semester. Both my mind and my feet have something in common in that they always meet with my heart and end up in Italy. I thought I was taking a giant leap when I moved to Italy but it turns out it was the safest decision I could have made. This little corner of the world that I’ve wrapped myself in can’t hurt me. People are wonderful creatures however, they also have an intense ability to cause pain. They fuss, they fight, and above all they forget. They forget birthdays, they forget to stay in touch, they forget what’s important, they forget to keep living, they forget why they fell in love, they forget who they are. Italy doesn’t have the capability to forget. It harbors secrets of a thousand years ago yet it still makes room for mine. The sunset or sometimes the sunrise has always been there to welcome me back when I’ve been gone. It never ceases to remind me that it missed me while I was away. I certainly never have to worry about Italy waking up one morning and no longer loving me, which is becoming an all too common problem in the world in which we live. I’ve never seen the sun grow tired of kissing the Tuscan countryside goodnight so why does it continuously happen with humans? I’ll never know.We’re very finicky creatures. One day we want it all and the next day we want nothing to do with it. But Italy on the other hand….Italy wants nothing because it has everything. Everything that’s important anyway. Until we learn what’s important we’ll never know what we should let go of. I’ve learned that I need to let go of a lot. Being away for a semester really puts everything into perspective. I never would have thought that some of the most important people in my life would be the first to forget about me when I was no longer down the street from them. I can’t even just say that it’s one person. I haven’t had time to sincerely dwell on it until now. My semester is coming to a close and I’m able to reflect on who was there to see me through it all. I quickly realized that the people that were absent were some of the most important people in my life. This is one of my first serious encounters with the facts of life. People have their own life to be living, and no matter how hard you try to stay involved with theirs they often don’t really care about yours, can’t say I blame them. Family, best friends, you name it, they have their own adventure in front of them. This proves to me that I need to be more selfish. I need to live out my own life without worrying what’s behind me, it rarely worries about me. From now on I’ll buy more stock in places I’ve never been instead of people I’ve known forever, it’s a safer bet.
I am an idiot and like boys who live very far away. Boys that I’ve only met for a weekend but that weekend was the best. I need to let it go, alas, I cannot. Soooooo here I am.